Before reading this, please go to chapter one: here.
Three
It’s Monday morning and I need to get
to school, but I’m waiting
out front of her house with its cracked sidewalk, weed-filled yard, wooden
fence broken and in need of paint, and I’m thinking: don’t
gawk. I don’t gawk though I
hear something inside being broken, like a chair being thrown at someone. I don’t stare at the front window or try
to see through the torn curtains when I hear a man’s voice, yelling something dirty. And I
don’t let her catch me
snooping when she comes flying out the door, turns to spit at someone hidden
inside and slams the screen door; then struts down the sidewalk, wiping tears
from her eyes and straightening her dress. I don’t gawk because we’ve
gone through this many times before and I'm well-trained. Instead, I look away
and we walk, she and I, quickly and silently, while she catches her breath,
wipes her nose, takes a comb from her purse and yanks violently at her hair.
At
the corner we turn left towards school.
“Hi, Michael.”
“Hi,
Molly.”
She’s wearing a black-and-grey plaid
dress that she made herself, and I really like how she looks in it. No one but
Molly would wear a black dress to school.
“I
like your shirt, Michael.”
“My
uncle gave it to me.”
“It
goes with my dress.”
I
shrug.
“Did
you get your math done?” she asks. “Can my brother copy it? I’ll make him change some of the answers so
no one will guess he used yours.”
“Great,”
I answer, but I know no one needs to make Ralph change the answers; he can’t even cheat right. Anyway, no
teacher would believe he’d
done a whole assignment by himself, certainly not math.
We
turn again, this time onto Ellison Street, getting close to school.
Some
people might find it strange that someone like me (from a good family) would
walk to school with someone like Molly (from probably the worst family) but she
asked, so I do. One day I was sitting under the sycamore at the far end of the
playground (on the back side so I wouldn’t have to play ball) and she came round the trunk and sat down like
we were old friends. “Whatcha doing?”
she asked. Drawing. “You draw really well,” she said. Thanks. “Why don’t you walk me home, tonight?” If
you want. Then she walked over to some girls nearby and I heard her
say, “Told you so.” Ever since that day (four months ago) I’ve walked Molly home each afternoon and
gotten up early to meet her in the morning. She lives blocks out of the way but
I don’t mind.
The
third afternoon we walked home together, her brother Ralph snuck up behind us
and pounced on me, slamming me to the ground, sending my books and papers
flying. I covered my head to protect myself but Molly lit into him, kicking and
screaming that he should leave me alone, that I was hers. Still, though Molly’s tough, her brother’s tougher and he fought her off with no
trouble, egging her on in a high-pitched old lady’s voice: “Oh, please, pretty please, don’t hurt me!” When they got tired of fighting, the three of us picked
up my stuff and walked home together.
Molly
and I are in the seventh grade. Ralph’s in the eighth––it’s
his second time. He flunked seventh grade, too. He should be in high school; if
he flunks this year they’ll
probably throw him out or maybe he’ll
just quit. Molly’s got two other brothers who did just that (one’s in Reform School) and there are
other brothers as well; I don’t
know how many. Molly’s the
only girl. Ralph is always in trouble at school and needs help with homework so
I give it to him. Actually, I just do the stuff, it’s quicker than getting him to understand.
It makes for a funny friendship, him and me, but I figure we’ll go on this way as long as Molly and I
walk to school together, which I assume will be forever.
But
this afternoon almost ruins that. Wednesdays are difficult because Molly makes
me walk her home even though I have to make it to choir practice by four. Me, I’m worried about getting to choir
on time but Molly’s the one
who’s acting
disagreeable.
“You
always get everything you want,” she says.
“What
you mean?”
“You’re getting another drawing into Highlights,
aren’t you?”
I
shrug my shoulders, yes, thinking how good my drawing is––a drawing of the Blue
Mosque, Istanbul’s biggest
church. I drew it from a photo in our Encyclopedia Americana. A
real artist came to our class on Career Day and when he saw it he put his arm
around my shoulders and told the teacher: “This kid’s got talent.”
“You
always get everything you want,” Molly continues. “You get good grades, your
parents are rich...”
“My
parents aren’t rich.”
“Your
parents are rich, your brothers pass every grade, you’ve got a big house...”
And
for some reason, that makes me remember my new job.
“I’m taking over my brother’s paper route,” I interrupt.
“...your family’s got a nice––what’d you say?”
“I
forgot to tell you: I’m
taking over my brother’s paper
route.”
“You’re getting a job, too? And you’ll get money for it?”
“Of
course, I’ll get money. I’m gonna start my own savings account.”
“I don’t believe it!” she cries.
Then she throws her books onto the sidewalk and shakes her head from side to
side in disbelief. “You are the luckiest person in the world!"
I
don’t know what to say so I
pick up her books and we continue towards her house but as we turn onto the
final block I break the silence. “I’m
going to buy good stuff with my money.” And being pretty clever, I add, “I’ll even buy you something.”
“Like
what?”
“Well,” and I’m thinking fast now, “how about those
spring shoes they advertise in comic books? They look like regular skates but
they’ve got springs instead
of wheels and you can bounce so high and fast no one can ever catch you. Not
ever.”
“I don’t think that’s something I’d want,” she says, looking disappointed.
Then
I realize: “Wait! When I get my route, I won’t be able to walk you home.”
She
stops. “Why not?” She grabs my hand and looks into my eyes, troubled.
“I'll
have to get to the station,” I explain. “A paperboy’s gotta be punctual.”
“But
everybody knows we walk home together!”
Suddenly
she looks like she’s gonna
cry.
I
try to reassure her. “We can still walk together in the mornings.”
“I
hate you!” she blurts out. And now she is crying. “You’re a stupid know-it-all rich creep and I
never want to see you again!” She grabs her books from my hands, stomps up the
sidewalk to the door, then spins around, face bright red: “Get out of here! You
don’t belong here.”
And
all I can think to answer is: “Am I supposed to pick you up in the morning?” Without answering, she slams the
door. But a second later, it creaks open and she says, just loud enough to
hear, “You’d better be here
tomorrow. Or else.”
* *
*
From
outside the sanctuary I can hear practice has already begun, so I sneak in and
tiptoe across the carpeting in the front of the pulpit, hidden from the choir
loft by a wooden partition, fifteen feet high. That’s when I hear Judy Forneau complaining to
Mrs. Taylor, the choir director: “He smells bad. And he talks to himself!”
“Michael
does not smell bad, Judy, and you know it,” Mrs. Taylor warns her. “That’s a mean thing to say.”
I
freeze, my face turns red, I can’t
go up there, be a joke for them all to laugh at; but as I turn to escape my
foot catches on the wire leg of a memorial wreath and it falls over with a
clang. I hear Mrs. Taylor ask, “Is that you, Michael?” but I keep on walking,
fast, out the door and across the parking lot, breathing hard––and how will I
explain this to Mom?
Outside
it's grown colder, I have to pull my coat tight around me to stay warm––so
there's no way to smell myself through my coat to find out if I actually do
have b.o. or not. I hate Judy Forneau, with her goldfish eyeballs and her
glasses. I'd like to to use a stick to carve nostrils in her armpits. And I
hate choir, I wish I hadn't ever been forced to sing with them. I wish I was
still with Molly and she hadn’t
gotten angry. It was warmer then, and nicer. I thought spring had actually
arrived.
Then,
turning east, it gets worse: I spot a group of guys coming my way, eight of
them. They look dangerous, might even be from the Trailer Court. Kids like that
will beat you up just for the fun of it. So I decide to limp––no one’s gonna beat on a kid with a limp.
I even consider crossing the street to enter the park but that could be
dangerous: fewer people there to protect you. The group (now much closer)
appears to be headed towards Thirtieth Street, not through the park, so I cross
and enter, acting as if I haven’t
noticed them. But one of the kids yells: “Hey, Pozner! Your brother’s the one with the bad leg, so why
you limping, you big phony?”
“What’s that?” I yell back, like I’ve been thinking about things far
more important than they could ever understand. “You mean me?” I rub my leg as
if it hurts but keep on moving to increase the distance between us. “My leg?
Hurt it playing basketball, not a big deal, doctor says I’ll be walking good again in a few weeks.”
They
all start laughing but keep walking and I trudge the rest of the way home
feeling like garbage. I plop down on the couch in the sewing room. Mom comes in
and demands to know why I'm home early from choir practice.
“I’m sick” I lie.
“Sick
how?”
“Just sick,” I say. “And tired.”
She
stares at me as if she’s some
kind of super detective, then gets a look on her face that tells me she’s making a motherly decision to
inquire no further. That decided, she says, “A person who is truly sick goes to
bed. He doesn’t mope around
the house. I don’t believe
you are sick but if you insist on pretending, please go to bed now. I’ll send your brother up later with
food. And," she adds, "I don't want to hear you mumbling to yourself
about it.”
I
glare at her, pull myself from the couch and plod up the stairs, put on my
pajamas and check for hairs around my peeper––but I can’t find them without the aid of Dad’s magnifying glass. Could I have
imagined them? Dad says I’m
always imagining things. Worse, my peeper smells funny. Could Judy have smelled
that? I go to the bathroom, scrub my crotch, and in the process get my pajamas
wet. When my brother comes up with dinner I’m lying on top of the covers, reading. He looks down. “Did you pee
on yourself?” he asks, nodding towards my crotch, a disgusted look on his face.
“Of
course not.” I hate him for asking such a question.
“Then,
what’s wrong with you?”
Howard asks, still staring at my wet pajamas.
“Nothing,”
I answer, pulling the covers over my body, up to my neck.
“No,
really,” he insists. “Are you sick?”
And
for no reason, I answer truthfully (more or less): “I hate choir.”
“Oh,”
he nods. Then his expression changes. “Your good-looking brother has the
solution.,” he says. “Time for choir practice and paper delivery conflict.
Can't do both.”
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